Oh my goodness! You’re getting married in just a few short weeks and suddenly the reality of what’s ahead of you is starting to hit home. Don’t worry about those little nervous feelings that are giving your butterflies in your tummy they are just wedding jitters and if you treat them as that then you won’t build them into unsurpassable mountains.
Firstly – what you MUST remember is that it is entirely normal to have wedding nerves – easy as it sounds, try and enjoy them because (hopefully) you won’t be repeating the lead up to your wedding day ever again. Did you know that apparently 92% of brides feel nervous on the actual wedding day and 71% feel nerves in the lead up? You are normal and not alone – and it’s not just the bride who can feel nerves either, many grooms feel this way too! REMEMBER! These are genuinely special times, exciting, yes, nerve racking, of course – but exhilarating too! Your wedding is not just about the day, it’s about the lead up, the day and your new life as husband and wife.
What are you nervous of? Perhaps pinpoint what exactly is making you feel like a headless chicken if that’s what you do feel like – is it the preparation that is beginning to spiral out of control? Stop! Take a breath and re-evaluate. You could be nervous about the actual wedding day itself, there is so much happening without doubt, the flowers, the catering, the drinks, the venue, the music, the entertainment… oh my goodness the list is long. Did you remember to confirm the DJ? Should you hire a magician? Which is the best toastmaster? Phew – sit down with a cup of tea (or a “small” glass of wine) and re-write the list that you have probably already devised. Here are some suggestions from Warble Entertainment on how to keep it all in perspective:
- Keep a wedding scrapbook where you have useful notes/tips/magazine cut outs
- You could buy ring-bound folder where you can divide it into sections such as: venue, catering, wedding dress, gift list, entertainment etc. Within these sections you can file away all your notes and information so everything is in one easy, accessible place. It’s all about feeling organised
- Make a list to stick on the front of the folder of pending items and give it a “timeline”. For example if your wedding day is on Saturday 2nd August see the below list which is just an idea of what to use it for – you can add whatever you want to the list – even who’s feeding the goldfish while you are on honeymoon:
W/C 14th July:
- Confirm hairdresser – 16th July
- Check giftlist – 17th July
- Speak to florist – 17th July
- Chase printers for hymn sheets – 18th July
- Confirm honeymoon – 19th July
- Buy toiletries for honeymoon – 19th July
- Find time to relax – 20th July
W/C 21st July:
- Confirm final dress fitting – 21st July
- Check groom outfit – 21st July
- Check bridesmaids dresses – 22nd July
- Confirm wedding bouquet/button holes/other bouquets – 22nd July
- Go through wedding meal – 23rd July
- Check table decorations – 23rd July
- Confirm photographer/videographer – 24th July
- Finalist table plan – 24th July
- Book beauty treatments – 25th July
- Buy gifts for bridesmaids – 25th July
- Organise flowers for mother of bride and mother of groom – 25th July
- Pack for honeymoon – 26th July
- Find time to relax – 27th July
W/C 28th July
- Confirm First dance and play list with Band or Disco – 28th July
- Confirm wedding cake delivery – 28th July
- Confirm wedding cars – 28th July
- Confirm hairdresser/make-up artist – 29th July
- Check wedding speeches are done! – 29th July
- Pick up wedding dress! – 30th July
- Pre-wedding beauty treatments – 31st July
- Find time to relax – 1st August
It’s also a good idea to keep a notebook and pen beside your bed so if you are finding that wedding nerves are disrupting your beauty sleep, you can simply write down what’s woken you up to be dealt with the next day, so no more racking your brains about what was troubling you at 3.07am.
Why not enlist the help of your Maid of Honour if not done so already? For the boys – your Best Man should be helpful too, we know it’s their job to play the buffoon but they have another role, to keep the men calm and organised!
R & R
Still don’t feel like the serene bride to be or the calm, refined groom to be? Then it’s time to indulge in some proper relaxation! Easy to say right? You’re panicking over the playlist for your wedding (speak to your band, go through what you both enjoy and don’t forget to take their advice on the best music to get people dancing – don’t you feel better already?). He’s worried that his Best Man will forget the rings… you’re concerned about your new drop earrings – are they too much or too simple? Just remember, your wedding day will go ahead, everything will be fine, even if there is a hitch no one will notice and it will be the best day in the world.
Treat yourself to a massage, facial or if you’re the type of person who needs to let off steam get down to the gym and pump some iron. Don’t let a full schedule hamper your plans to relax. Diarise it, put it on your list and make sure it happens. It’s not only for relaxation purposes but also plays a part in pre-wedding pampering. It’s important to feel great on the day (you will!) and adding in a couple of facials, a deep tissue massage or a beauty treat only helps you unwind and feel good about yourself. We know it’s getting expensive so if money is an object, enlist a friend to help, perhaps have a night in with some beauty products and give each other a face mask or a manicure. Some girly time will help alleviate the nerves. Men – get down to the gym or go for a run with a mate or you could go to a football match – let off steam there!
Can’t Get no Sleep
If you are having trouble sleeping, even laying down for a few hours will give your body a rest so don’t worry, if you can’t sleep try and shift your mind somewhere else. You could “visualise” – picture yourself and your husband or wife-to-be laying on that soft, sandy beach with the hot sun tantalising your limbs – your only worry whether you should take a dip in the sea or ask the waiter for another Mojito. Ahhh there you go, snoring already.
For those of you who haven’t fallen asleep yet, try deep breathing. Place your hand on your chest and feel your lungs fill with air, and then exhale slowly. Keep doing this until the nerves subside. If all else fails, get up, read a book, have a hot drink but don’t let sleeplessness trouble you. You’ll sleep when your body is tired.
If your nerves are really getting on top of you then you can try a variety of different treatments such as visiting a hypnotherapist who will help identify triggers and give you methods to control stress. Your doctor can help too – it may be that the nerves are centred round family members; perhaps disagreements in the past which are rearing their heads, your doctor can advise, help and treat if necessary. The pharmacist is another person who can help and offer advice such as mild over-the- counter medication to help with sleeplessness (rescue remedy is excellent for calming nerves). Alternative therapies such as Reiki, aromatherapy or even acupuncture can help too.
The Night Before the Big Day
The night before you get wed should be as calm as possible for both bride and groom. Think about taking some gentle exercise before indulging in a long, hot bath with candles and some sensual oil to help. A small glass of alcohol if you insist never did anyone any harm (don’t drink too much though as you don’t want to feel hung-over). If you can’t sleep due to the excitement, don’t worry – natural adrenaline will see you through your wedding day with ease. Many brides (and grooms) have sleepless nights, they all get married and they all look radiant and they will all tell you it was the best day of their life!
The Big Day
On the day DO eat breakfast as it will calm nerves. Even if you can only manage one piece of toast it’s important as not eating can lead you to feel faint – you need to keep blood sugar up. Don’t drink too much – you don’t want to go through the day in a blur or risk being sick, you want to take everything in.
Remember, your friends who are married have been through all of this and can advise you as well – soon you’ll be the one doling out advice to your next nervous bride or groom friend!
Above all – enjoy – these are precious moments and won’t last forever!
Published by Warble Entertainment